Post UK travel thoughts on work and rest.
In his essay 'Walking', David Henry Thoreau presents walking as a - in modern terms - self care activity.
“In my afternoon walk I would fain forget all my morning occupations and my obligations to Society. But it sometimes happens that I cannot easily shake off the village. The thought of some work will run in my head and I am not where my body is—I am out of my senses. In my walks I would fain return to my senses.”
I was recently in the UK for 3 weeks, partly for work and partly for leisure. His idea here, along with those in another book I read during my trip, resonated a lot with me in those precious few weeks abroad. It’s been some time since I’ve been back, so here’s my attempt at unpacking my thoughts.
WANDERING
I found the chance to explore on my own during the trip extremely liberating. The morning I arrived in London, I strolled along the South Bank and took my time reading the history signs by the Tower of London. I took a 40 minute stroll to a small town on the outskirts of Edinburgh one Saturday in the cold Scottish rain, just because I felt like it.
I found both of these experiences especially enjoyable because I wasn’t in any rush for time. The idea of having nowhere to go or be is the exact anti thesis to everything that governs my work day. I’ve been finding it difficult to find rest even outside of work hours, and I was incredibly thankful for the opportunity to get away from the noise for a while. At this point in my life, rest looks like having my time be beholden to nothing and no one.
IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE PRODUCTIVE
I’m trying to replicate that now that I'm back in Singapore. I’ve been intentionally carving out space for myself to “waste” time, when I don’t have to squeeze every single second of the day for what it’s worth. For me, this can be as simple as taking longer commutes. I used to dread taking more than 30 minutes to get anywhere (how I survived 4 years in NTU I'll never know). But I've come to appreciate the time to let my mind wander on public transport, and to allow myself time in transition.
I was reading the book "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" by John Mark Comer on my trip. It reminded me to slow down and not get caught up with the relentless chasing of the world. It also got me thinking: why am I always rushing? Why am I so uncomfortable with letting time go to “waste”? My mum always likes to say, 休息是为了走更长的路 (rest is important because it strengthens us for the journey ahead). For such a long time I’ve been unwilling and scared to slow down because I was terrified of not doing enough, not achieving enough, not being useful or valuable enough.
But there is rest in knowing there's no need for me to strive or prove anything. I am not less valuable even when I am less productive.
SMOKE AND MIRRORS
I dove into the book of Ecclesiastes in the bible after I came back, because it echoed a lot of what I was thinking and feeling. The refrain in the book is “everything is <meaningless>”. I always thought it sounded a bit strange given that the rest of the book is about the hope and love of Jesus. But I love the meaning behind it.
The Hebrew word translated to <meaningless> is hevel, which literally means vapour or smoke. The things of this world are not necessarily meaningless, but their meaning is fleeting, immaterial and hard to grasp, just like smoke. So we try our best to find this meaning.
I'm at a place in my life now when the biggest thing is my career. Most of my time and energy goes into building my career, and it's good and exciting because there's so much to learn and explore. But it’s a different thing to be tying my identity and value to how well I perform at work. This trip was another reminder to hold on to Christ tightly, and everything else of this world loosely. I’m still figuring out what this looks like practically, but for now it’s guarding my thoughts and not allowing work stress to crowd out rest. “Shake off the village”, as Thoreau put it.
RESTEDNESS VS RESIGNATION
This isn’t about lacking ambition, though. I've thought about this question a lot: is it okay to trust in God but also want to succeed in my career? I felt uncomfortable asking for a pay rise and talking up my strengths in appraisals when really, I knew deep down it was truly God's grace that saw me through.
But a dear friend and mentor told me something: it's not about you, it's about stewarding the gifts God has given to you well. How can you use the favour God has given to you in the workplace to uplift others? Or to bring attention to the people and matters that may not be getting enough attention? Ultimately it’s about directing the glory back to God. You don’t hide a lamp's light under a shade, you use it to guide the way to something good.
I think back to the walk I took to the small town just outside of Edinburgh, and it seems like a pretty good depiction of where I am mentally now: walking down a winding path lined with autumn trees, with leaves hurrying downwards, chased by the bustling wind. There’s a gurgle of a stream a little to my right, behind the stone walls. The smell of rain still lingers in the air. I take in the rich colours of the leaves, all the different shades of crimson and orange and yellow. I pause only to mentally chuckle at a plastic chair that somehow found its way caught between the branches of a twisted tree next to the path. And I think of nothing but taking the next step, feeling my foot against the mush of leaves on the path.
P.S. SOME CONTEXT ON THOREAU
Back to David Henry Thoreau. Sharing some context on his wider philosophies in life because I found them mildly amusing as I was reading up on him. I thought some of his ideas were helpful as a counter balance to the unrestedness and striving in my life. Only some, because he also held some pretty extreme views on simple living and living amongst nature.
Extreme View Exhibit A:
"When sometimes I am reminded that the mechanics and shopkeepers stay in their shops not only all the forenoon, but all the afternoon too, sitting with crossed legs, so many of them—as if the legs were made to sit upon, and not to stand or walk upon—I think that they deserve some credit for not having all committed suicide long ago." - Walking.
Oh, I love when academics throw shade. This guy seriously did not hold back. I got to this point and decided I had to find out more about who this guy was. This New Yorker article makes him out to be self-obsessed, self-righteous, unfeeling, and very out of touch with reality.
"But “Walden” is less a cornerstone work of environmental literature than the original cabin porn: a fantasy about rustic life divorced from the reality of living in the woods, and, especially, a fantasy about escaping the entanglements and responsibilities of living among other people."
The bottom line is, go for a walk, but don’t forget to feed your kids.
Thoreau is also big on living simply as a moral obligation. As in, it’s your moral duty to strip your life of as many things as possible. Coffee is bad; so is putting salt in your food. I obviously disagree - he seems to suggest spending time in nature is the only righteous form of enjoyment, but there isn’t just one way to enjoy God’s creation.
So, I’m taking the bulk of his writings with a pinch of salt. No matter how much he disapproves.
BISCUIT ON THE SIDE
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
This was the book I finished during my trip! It’s such a simple read with a timeless message. I highly recommend it, especially if you own a Kindle because it’s formatted specifically for the device, which made the entire reading experience a joy. It’s written by a Christian but the core of it is relevant even if you don't believe. Always good to make time for a breather, I think.
It’s a good time for a reset anyway. We’ve made it through another year, would you believe that :) Here’s wishing everyone a very Happy New Year, and may 2022 bring better!
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